Thirty: Drive-bys

We've had a couple of short but sweet drop ins recently... a variety of visitors that provided great company and an excuse to practice my tour guide skills.

At the end of August family friend Russel Grenham and his girlfriend Alecia - roadtripping around Europe for a couple of weeks - stayed with us for two days. We took the bikes downtown, wandeled the 9-streets, visited the Rijks, popped into Amnesia for milkshakes. Russel (a rather large fellow) looked sweet on my omafiets with pink saddlebags.

At the end of September another family friend - Marseille Markham - spent a few days of her open-ended backpacking odyssey. I sprung her from the Flying Pig youth hostel and set her up on our less than comfortable pull out couch. We biked along the Amstel to Ouderkerk, stopping at De Zwarte Kat for a riverside lunch. We walked around downtown, sat in a few cafes, visited the very popular Grasshopper, drove out to Kinderdijk and took the train to Delft. And then she was on to Poland, but hoping to make Greece by Christmas.

In mid-October a co-worker from Makers - Sean McCormick - and his folks arrived. They'd rented an old (built in 1926 I think) houseboat on the Bloemengracht, right across from the Anne Frank House. The whole family works or has worked in architecture and/or urban planning. They were very keen on Amsterdam's building design, infrastructure and policy - we discussed everything from how the parking rates encourage bicycle use to the type of delivery trucks servicing downtown alleys. On their first day I joined them for a walk through the Jordaan, the 9-streets (complete with breakfast at Pancakes! Amsterdam) Dam Square, the Red Light District, the University campus, and Museumplein. In the afternoon we checked the Concertgebow to see what was on, got caught in the rain, then settled in at Cafe Hoppe to sip genever gin and snack on bitterballen. To cap off, Kim and I took them Oude Smidse, a favorite restaurant in Ouderkerk.

The 'cool' prize goes to Greg (one of our Quad neighbors,) who came in for about 3 hours during a layover (he would return for a longer visit with Francie a week or so later.) We met at Central Station and did some early morning adventuring downtown before he returned to Schipol and flew off to Rome.

Twenty-nine: Grand Duchy

Kim, Amanda (our expat pal) and I went to Luxembourg. We figured why not? It's close, it's obscure, it's got a Duke. At the time we were under the impression that it was the 3rd smallest country in Europe, but turns out it's only the 6th. It is the 2nd wealthiest though (behind Liechtenstein.) This is evident in Luxembourg city. The buildings and streets are pristine. There is free city-wide wi-fi. Our boutique hotel was charming, though the bar across the street was hosting a very rowdy weekend long costume party (storm troopers!)

We wandered the streets, found the cutest farmers' market ever, did some great shopping and ate some good french-ish food. We climbed down into the Bock Casemates, a network of mildly interesting but mostly claustrophobic caves that at one time served some purpose that none of us are clear on; something about munitions.

We decided to take the scenic route back to Amsterdam. Honestly, the rest of Luxembourg is rather uninspiring. And not as put together as one might expect with all that money. I was hoping for streets paved in gold or at least snappy public housing, but really the only evidence of wealth is heavily subsidized fuel prices. We drove through several small towns (Ettlebruck seems pleasant) then stopped in Munshausen to visit the Ardennes Draft Horse Museum. The horses were cute but there was no 'museum' to speak of. It was more like a petting zoo.

The local pub was frightening. Very dark, very low ceilings, very packed with people speaking very strange Luxembourgish. The bar tender was giant and severe. When we tried to order cappuccinos (there was an espresso machine behind the bar) she launched into a tirade, gesticulated wildly, then jammed her hands onto her hips and glared at us. Amanda stared back, utterly agog. Kim managed an "uuhhhhh..." We looked nervously at each other, then around the room. Would this outburst result in some sort of riot? Would we be run out of town? I pointed to the beer tap and said "deux?", which seemed to appease her. We quietly sipped our beers. A few minutes later a woman sidled up to the bar and ordered a coffee. The bartender reprised her rant. Then she fixed the woman an espresso. We looked at each other, at the bartender, at the woman and her coffee, cogs turning furiously to no avail.

After Munshausen we figured it was time to return to more familiar turf. We stopped in Maastrict for bratwurst, collectively relieved to be dealing with good 'ole Dutch again. Funny how one's idea of 'familiar' can change over the course of a year...

Twenty-eight: Inter-City Rumble

Cousins Nick, Mariam, Genevieve and and Max flew in from Portland a few days after I returned from Seattle. Over the years we've developed (more specifically Mariam and Kim have developed) a semi-facetious "my city is better than yours" rivalry, so we were excited to thow Amsterdam into the mix.

We met up at Schiphol's clearly marked "meeting spot", then took convenient, comprehensive public transportation right to the apartment. Portland's MAX Lightrail? Not even close. They slogged through the jet lag via a downtown stroll (read:death march,) a bunch of cafe sitting, and some shopping. Mariam and I visited the Tulip Museum (did the world learn nothing from the horrendous tulip crash of 1637?), one of Amsterdam's 50-something "educational" museums which also include the boathouse museum, the erotic museum, the sex museum, the hash marihuana & hemp museum, the coffee & tea museum, the fluorescent art museum. I ask you, what does Portland offer in this vein?

There was a lot of biking. If we held a competition to determine the visitors who best embraced Dutch cycling culture these guys would get the gold. Admittedly the Portland lifestyle equipped them well, though it could not have prepared them for the awesomeness that is the Netherlands' superior bike lane network. We biked along the Amstel River to the outlying village of Ouderkerk. We biked to the Rijks (where Max and Eve's art appreciation gave me an inferiority complex re: my mall-loving teen years,) we biked to the 9-streets, we biked to the Anne Frank House, we biked to the botanical gardens, we biked to the Van Gogh on Friday evening when it's open late and the crowds are light. After dark we biked through Museumplein, De Pijp (cafes, bars, restaurants) and a satellite red light district (again Portland, I'm not seeing an equivalent.) We biked through Hogue Velue to Kroller-Muller, where of course the art and sculpture were big hits. Mariam, Max and I biked to Paradiso to see the Portland band Blitzen Trapper perform a great set (ok, I'll admit that Paradiso is probably no better than the Crystal Ballroom.) We biked to Ajax stadium where we watched a "friendly" Netherlands vs. UK football match (sporting events in Portland? The Beavers? I don't think so.) If this is "friendly", I can't wait to see the other kind. We sat next to the the visitors' section - note plexiglass wall with serrated metal. It's a good thing they were quarantined, because Brit fans are nuts!

We sat at many outdoor cafes (does Portland even have outdoor cafes?) where we played a lot of bananagrams - aka speed scrabble. We had dutch pancakes, drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of cheese and hagelslag.

We rented a sailboat in Volendaam. As you can tell from the photos, Genevieve really loved this particular outing. We visited Den Haag and checked out the Javier Marin sculpture exhibit. We sat on the beach in Scheveningen, we wandered the streets of Delft and Haarlem. Almost everywhere we went we stumbled onto gift-yielding flea and antique markets. Um, where in Portland are you going to find something more than 50 years old?

By the end of the week, Amsterdam had racked up a lot of points. In fact I'm pretty sure they all fell in love with it and want to move here. Or perhaps spend a semester abroad? Or at least visit again...

Twenty-seven: Gayday

While I was in Seattle celebrating Chris and JB's wedding, Kim attended Amsterdam's pride parade. Here's what she said about it in an e-mail (with maybe a little editing to keep it PG.)

"It was absolute madness! The weather couldn't have been better - it was even a little hot - and the streets were packed. Amanda took Do and I to a party in the perfect location (a 2nd floor apartment) with an unobstructed view of the canal floats (probably about 90 beginning to end.) I've never seen so many older folks (50+) out celebrating - a float was even dedicated to that age group. And so many six-packs! As you know, gay boys love being shirtless. Later we hung out on a boat in the canal to get a closer look. One float was playing Karma Chameleon - as it got closer, we realized it was actually Boy George singing on the float!

We went for ice cream on the 9 Streets - ijscuypje - because there's always time for ice cream! By this time the parade had ended and the canals were flooded with party boats. Do, Amanda and I biked to Rembrandtplein for some Italian food - the gayness had spread all over the place! It was even crazier than the float parade. We had to go through a SEA of people - I mean, there was no moving room. Just a mass shifting of bodies if you wanted to move. Almost got stuck - the pictures really don't do it justice. Do and Amanda kept commenting (I swear they were more excited and into it than me) how they couldn't believe Jess was missing this spectacle. Amanda said it was an even bigger party than Queen's Day!"

Twenty-six: U-S-A!

On July 29th I flew home for Chis and Julie's wedding. "Home" being Seattle, and yes it felt like it. The plane went over Greenland which looks just how it does in National Geographic - icebergs, glaciers, precipitous peaks. We were too high to spot polar bears but I'm sure one or two were down there, floating away on the melting chunks of ice.

I arrived with only a thread of a plan regarding where to stay and what to do for the three days before the wedding. I sailed through customs ("welcome home" said the man who stamped me), grabbed my luggage, called Mark (who visited last October and was instrumental in the Missing Cat episode), rode the new Light Rail to Beacon Hill (A+), and walked the 10 or so blocks to The Quad. Mark had offered to pick me up but my Adventurous State of Mind insisted we walk, record heat be damned (seriously, it was 103 that day.)

From the corner of 12th Ave and South Charles (the Amazon building) I soaked in the view of downtown, Puget Sound, the Olympic mountains and the fans in the stands at Safeco Field. A homeless man asked me for spare change. The heat blazed. The SUVs rumbled. The Blue Angels - in town for Seafair - roared. My brain chanted "U-S-A!"

As usual, The Quad hosted a lively scene that day. I checked out the exterior of our unit. It looked great. So great in fact that I was reaching out to hug the corner when our tenant Joey emerged to introduce himself. How embarrassing. I visited with Mark. I went out and chatted with Richard - the Quad's neighbor to the south - who has added fancy chickens to his already utopian garden. The chickens wander between Richard's yard and Mark and Tanya's yard, which is just so cute and communal.

Loopy from either the jet lag or the Ambien, I sat around grinning and sweating and waiting for Tanya to arrive with Adelle. When she did come home she immediately plopped Addy - who smiled graciously even though it was a billion degrees and I was covering her in sweat - in my arms. Tell me this isn't the best looking baby.

I met Murf, our other tenant, moved into Greg and Francie's spare bedroom (wow our houses are pleasant) and met their new dog Victor. Mark's sister and a friend arrived from Portland. Sadly, Erin and Anthony were MIA (I ended up missing them entirely.) After a great dinner at Tamarind Tree ( where a homeless man hit us up for change on both the way in and the way out) I wilted into comatic sleep until 4:30 am.

The next day Julie picked me up for Wedding Pedicures. Cruising into Whole Foods for coffee and smoothies, I could not stop grinning like an idiot. Oh how I love Whole Foods. Lavish, immaculate, abundant - what's not to love? They can have my Whole Paycheck (figuratively speaking.) Of course right outside a homeless guy hit me up for change, but... "U-S-A!"

We had a tremendous lunch at Boom Noodle on Capitol Hill. Tofu! Fancy cucumber cocktails! Intellectual discussion! Witty repartee! (Almost as hard to come by in Amsterdam as, say, homeless guys asking for change.) Afterward she ran off to more wedding prep and I wandered nostalgically around Capital Hill. Hipsters! Snippets of intelligible conversation! In Stumptown I ordered a coffee without the slight twinge of shame and anxiety (my Dutch is for the birds.) Again, me with the idiot grin.

I purchased a Go Phone at Bartells. Honestly, a rocket scientist could not figure this thing out. It took four hours of thinking and button pushing and swearing to make it operable. Automated voice: "If you don't have an account with T-mobile but would like to purchase minutes and plan to make the majority of your calls from the zip code of the billing address where your T-mobile bill is currently sent please enter the 27-digit code listed on either the side of the package your phone came in or on the panel behind the battery inside your phone." Me: "fuck youuuuu!!!" Automated voice: "I'm sorry, I did not understand your response. If you would like to return to the main menu, please..." and so on.

I visited Scott and Bowie at the salon. Scott and I tried to go to Tango for cocktails but they wouldn't serve him because he didn't have his I.D. Let me just say that while he does have a certain youthful glow, we're well beyond that aren't we? I mean the man was born in 1960-something. Oh how I've missed the red tape, the fear of potential law suits, etc. etc. etc.

We sat in the car in bumper to bumper traffic. Scott growled and cursed like a sailor. I grinned like an idiot. Tee he he, we're stuck in traffic and no one here knows how to drive properly. Even this is fun in my Adventurous State of Mind. We went to a favorite bar - Smith - for Bloody Marys. Tanya and Mark joined. Ok, yes the Netherlands has universal health care and virtually free university education. There are bike lanes and comprehensive public transportation. Weed, gays and prostitution are legal(ish). But they can't make a freakin' cocktail. In fact no country we've visited thus far (I'm looking at you, England) has any sort of clue about cocktails. "U-S-A!"


The next day I rode Mark's bike back to Bowie's salon. She did my hair. We threw the bike in her car and she took me to my luggage then dropped me at Julie and Chris' where I met up with Amit, Nadia and Mark Ikels. We drove to the piers. An old man in a pimp suit and giant purple mirrored ski goggles shuffled down the sidewalk. The Blue Angels buzzed downtown - "Look at that trail of $$$!" Mark said. We got on a ferry and stood on the deck. We drove to the Farm Kitchen in Poulsbo. "Who lives out here?!" Mark said.

We met up with Julie and Chris at the guest house. We surveyed the gardens and orchard - where the ceremony would be held. We met Chris' and Julie's families for dinner at Four Swallows (courtesy of Chris and Julie), where the fantastic food and wine just kept coming. Dessert featured a lively round of Pass the Plate (take a bite pass it down.)

Back at the guest house we had a civilized celebration. Amit and Chris filled a watermelon with vodka. Amit melted ice in the microwave.

All told, the next day went very smoothly. The dress! The suit! The dapper bridal party! The weather was glorious, the bride and groom unflappable. Mark sat with his guitar under the cherry tree (Buddha under the bodhi) and serenaded Julie down the aisle. May I also say, the Chuppah holders nailed it.

The reception was brilliant. The food (no assigned tables no mass produced meals,) the toasts, the lawn games, the dancing. The dancing! By the end of the evening everyone was going for it in an "I'm in my living room by myself" sort of way. When they kicked us out of the barn, the die-hards trailed over to the guest house for further reveling.

The next day began the slow trickle out of town. Several slipped away in the wee hours. After breakfast (courtesy of Shireen) Julie and Chris headed home to pack for their St. Lucian honeymoon. Amit, Nadia, Shireen and I took the ferry - trailed by a jet skier wearing a motorcycle helmet and shark fin - back to Seattle.

The final two days included a lot of hanging out - Amit, Nadia, Shireen, Laura and Jack (who flew in from Idaho), Bowie and Scott - a jog around Seward Park, sushi at Mashiko, cocktails in various Seattle establishments, a visit to Makers and some couch surfing. By the time I boarded the return flight my face hurt from all the blabbing and laughing. Watching a vanishing Mount Rainier as the Ambien kicked in, an elderly woman behind me squealed loudly and in her eastern Washington twang announced,"ooooh! they've got internet on here! That means we can check Facebook!"

"U....S....A..... "